Wednesday, December 03, 2008

A New Vow

Google has changed my life for the better in many ways, but at the same time there's a dark side that goes along with it. Someone really needs to invent filters for pregnant women and hypochondriacs that would exclude all the really negative, scary results (it', it', wellmaybeit', and so forth). if I could do it, I definitely would (and believe me, I would try my best to get some big bucks out of it).

Today I'm adding on "parenting filter" to my list of Things to Invent since the internet is filled with parents of 20-month-0lds who are able to recognize all 26 letters out of order, count to 30, name all colors and shapes, hold conversations and have started work on their first novel. Okay, I made that last one up, but still. It's totally cool if people want to brag about their kid in one of those open forums, I just want a way to block out all the perfect geniuses when I'm looking for ideas on how to deal with the fact my little darling is now openly ignoring me. I think she's one step away from putting her fingers in her ears and saying "Nah nah nah old woman, I can see your mouth moving but I can't hear what you're saying." So, yeah, I will not be turning to Google for parenting advice any time soon.

The good news is that the big, ugly, p0ssibly cat-carrier-related bruise on her forehead is disappearing, and now she's saying "Oh, shoot" approximately 75% of the time when something falls on the floor. It's all over if she catches on to my cunning plan, so I'm trying hard to be discreet about it.


Fida said...

What do you expect, zut alors, with you as a mother :-)
I enjoy your way of seeing things enormously. I'll come back for more!

screamish said...

oh yeah, the net, what a source of pointless anxiety that was to me when i was preggers...can't help ourselves tho can we?