Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The neighbors may have hanging Santas, but we have a Holiday Bottom

At present, I can walk out of my house, turn my head and see 5 creepy Santas. I'm sure more will come. But since turnabout is fair play, I'll share with you the reason our neighbors are probably mocking us behind our back.

Sunday was the official Day of Christmas Decorations. We compromised and bought an artificial tree that is fairly tall and very smelly (and so not in a good way). Our next objective was to then compromise on lights.

Me: Ooooohhh, can we please have outdoor lights?

Him: (happy he had already thought of an excuse so I won't embarrass him with my American tendencies in decorating) No place to plug them up, so no can do.

Me: (disappointed but already plotting a way to overcome this tragic situation) Okay.

Him: Hey, can we buy these lights? They're the kind we used to have on our tree as kids.

Me: (pleased that such an opportunity fell right into my lap) Sure, that would be great!

When we got home, I wasn't even forced to create a cunning plan since the plug adaptor wouldn't work with both sets of lights.

Him: Oh, no problem, I can just saw off the adaptor and then --

Me: (hurriedly interrupting before he has the chance to develop his cunning plan) I know where those would work! Inside the window! Then we wouldn't really need outdoor lights, see?

Him: (giving up early since he's already lived with me for 7 years) Well, okay.

Me: (arrange, arrange, arrange, fiddle...steps back...arrange, arrange arrange) So what d'you think?

Him: Let me try. (arrange, fiddle, arrange...steps back). Hm.

Me: (tilting head) What does that look like to you?

Him: Like we're mooning the neighbors.

Me: (holding a corner a little straighter) Is this any better?

Him: Nope. Still faintly obscene.

So we decided to just keep our Holiday Bottom. I've told myself that we're not in prudish SWVA, we're in France and if anyone can appreciate someone's rear end in colored lights, it would be the French (and perhaps the Italians). No one has knocked on our door yet so right now we're home free.


KathyUSA said...

he he he. That's a great post! D and I were talking the other day about how there use to be a santa at every store you went into. But that has realy changed. I haven't seen not even one yet. We went by the mall Sunday and found that he wasn't even going to be there untill the evening hours. You would think he'd be there all opening hrs right now. We're going to Gatlinburg for the weekend. Maybe we'll find him there.

Amy Plumb (Amy Huntington) said...

The hanging Santas ARE so creepy! And I think you need a photo of the Holiday Bottom.

Papadesdeux said...

All this holiday decoration talk is making me feel very Scroogish. Thank goodness for grandparents or our little elves would be in for a seriously drab Noel. I guess I have a decoration phobia. Although you have tempted me. The idea of putting out wild garish decorations just to shock the French has a certain appeal.