Saturday, June 09, 2007

Still Here

We're doing well, even though I haven't posted lately. I guess I've been feeling a little down...the second month has been a little difficult for everyone. On the great side, our baby girl is smiling, starting to coo and reacting to different things. She's still getting longer and is fun to entertain. My mom has made her some really cute outfits and I'm getting faster at putting them on her. This has been a challenge but I'm learning how to distract her while getting her dressed (as well as putting in her eyedrops). Score one for the momma.

We think we've found her pediatrician, who was nice and not too much of a pain in the @#$ about my milk. At this point no one is sure if she does have silent reflux or if it's severe colic or what, but one thing that is sure is that something is going on in her little tummy during and right after feedings, but only sometimes. When this happens, she can't/won't eat.

One thing I wasn't expecting was all the hoohah about breastfeeding. LLL has been a great source of support for me. Doctors automatically told me I didn't have enough milk. It was up to me to prove that I did, and I had to do this by weighing before and after each feeding which is a right old pain, let me tell you. One even asked, "Do you have enough milk?" and when I said "Yes, I do," continued with "Well, mothers always say that but they really don't..." She was going to continue but I interrupted her with my stats, so she was forced to admit that there wasn't a problem in that area. I get frustrated with this, but what can you do.

I am also feeling the distance from my friends and family. People whom I shall not name have also been giving me crap about breastfeeding (including people who don't even have breasts themselves) -- do you have enough milk? You must not have enough milk. Maybe your milk isn't nourishing enough. You have to drink a lot of milk to make milk. You aren't eating enough. You need to drink more water. And the list goes on. Even if my own family were giving me this much crap, at least I know they'd try to give a compliment or two to try to balance out the suggestions of how to improve. That's the American way, and so far from the French way, as my husband says.

I don't say much back, but the truth is that I am doing the best I can. I am being the best mother I can possibly be to my daughter. I try to be as patient as I can with those who, like me, are concerned about her welfare, but sheesh. The comments put me on the defensive and I just need to remember "water, duck's back." My new (temporary) motto is "It definitely could be worse." And, let's face it, I'm overly sensitive and just need to move on. Our baby does well most of the time, and in fact many people don't seem to believe us about the nights since she's a lovely, fun, cute, smiley baby during the day when she's not hungry or in her state of crises.

So. Moving on.

We've had our current printer for about 2 and a half years and thought it was a complete piece of junk for just about the entire time we've had it. Shortly after buying it, we noticed that it would jam up at times or only partially print documents. Printing for us was completely a matter of trial and error, and I developed a knack of holding the paper just like this and praying not to get (yet another) paper cut.

This week, however, my husband managed to find the solution to our printing problem, which would be pretty funny if this hadn't gone on for YEARS: an IKEA pencil was lodged somewhere in its innards and was wreaking constant havoc. Years, people. Think of all the paper, not to mention bandaids, we could have saved if we'd only discovered this sooner.

Now I have a slightly longer list of things to do when technology fails: 1) check plugs. 2) restart. 3) verify lack of IKEA pencil, and perhaps that little paper tape measure as well. 4) call husband.


Anonymous said...

Well, God love you. Life hasn't been easy for the last two months, but I'm hoping to read soon that she is doing absolutely fantastic and no more crying and screaming.
She is a real little beauty and I'm hoping you will have a wonderful summer.
Love to you all

Riana said...

Dont let the bastards get you down! You are a great mommy,you are doing fantastic and I hope that everyone just takes a little smack from the STFU stick for you, because you are capable and doing the best for your baby.

oh, and damn Ikea too!

Reb said...

Don't trust anyone who hasn't breastfed before ie hubby, doctor,MIL).Only other moms know about breastfeeding. a nurse said to me "I don't know why women still breastfeed. The formula now is so much better."

Hang in here and in another month or so, all will get into place with her tummy.

Ps I'm trying to get an English LLL group going in France so will let you know if it happens - probably just a virutal group to start.

tara said...

Hang in there, it will get better! If it makes you feel any better, that seems to be a relatively common issue with new moms, that usually works itself out in the end. I'm shooting you some happy vibes and would love to see more photos of the baby, she's beauiful.

xoxo Tara

Carter-Ann said...

You're doing great! Don't let them get you down. I know what it's like to have people doubt your capacities to feed your child with your milk.

jchevais said...

Don't listen to any of the advice givers. Pretty soon they'll start shutting their traps but by then you'll be used to it and will be able to tune it out.

You and her are doing great.

Hang in there.

Kate said...

Isn't it amazing how women are quick to judge eachother?

After having three children, I now KNOW that all you can do is your best.

You can only do what is best for you and for your child.

The problem here is getting to know what is best for both of will work it out though...I am a great believer of listening to everyone's advice and I am also a great believer of using whatever information you can (from all sides) that will help you through...

Best of luck to you...and I wanted you to know that I love reading your blog!


Deb said...

I know it is not easy the first couple of months. I am glad that you seem to be doing better now though.

I unfortunately did really have a problem with not producing enough milk.

Good on ya for sticking it out! That's an American for ya! ;o)

Angela in Europe said...

Oh how sad. I know the differences between the French and American cultures can be hard (I find that cursing and hitting things help), but if you makes you feel better, I am sure you are doing not only the best you can, but a fantastic job at mothering.